Treasures out of the Darkness

Broken. That one word evokes a lot of thoughts and feelings. Something that needs to be mended, fixed, repaired or thrown out, to name a few. Broken things tend to be disregarded by man. We somehow think that if something is broken, we must get rid of it and get a new one to replace it. Aren’t you so grateful that God does not think like we do? He says that His ways are not our ways. His word says that a “broken” heart He will not despise. Another translation says it this way: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”

I am beginning to see brokenness in a different light. I am beginning to realize that until I get to the point of brokenness in my own life, I put a wall of pride between myself and God. He is repelled by pride. He hates it. I looked up pride in a dictionary and the definition does not seem so bad. It merely states that pride is having excessive self- esteem. We all need self esteem right?? Ok so then I looked it up in the Thesaurus and the synonyms that were listed were not pretty: Haughty, arrogant, disdainful, insolent, to name a few. These traits are the opposite of what a child of God should look like. We are called to not think more highly of our self that we ought, we are called to be meek, humble, servants of all. How can we pick up a towel to wash the feet of others so to speak if we are arrogant?

I work with the youth praise team at our church. I coordinate the vocalists. Every week after we practice, we get together in a separate room to pray and prepare our hearts before leading worship. Last night was one such night, only God had plans to shift the dynamics a bit. I for one could not stop crying. IF you know me, you know that crying is not a normal behavior for me unless Jesus is dealing with me. I just kept hearing in my head that scripture about the elders and angels crying Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God almighty, who was and is and is to come. I started thinking about how Jesus is on His throne with these magnificent creatures singing praises to Him all day every day non stop for all of eternity. Who in the world are we to think that we have anything to offer in the area of music? Who are we to think that because we have a killer band that we are some how doing a service to Him by leading worship? Now before you start quoting all the scriptures about worship, trust me I know them all, I know that we are to worship Him, I know that He loves to hear us worshipping Him. Here’s the thing though, if we are performing a show for Him, do you really think that He is pleased? Do you really think He is saying to the creatures around His throne, “Hey guys Hold on a sec, there is an amazing worship set going on down there!” NO!!! However, I do believe that when we are hungry, when we are broken of our pride and self sufficiency, He is near. If we are walking in a prideful manner, we are elevating ourselves to a point that somehow overshadows the beauty of His holiness. When we look at our own filth and think that we are holy, we completely discount the cost of His son which is the only holiness we have! We have borrowed holiness. We are hiding in His!

So, I began talking to the kids about this topic and how in order to be a dwelling place for Him, our hearts must be cleansed of its pride. These kids began searching their hearts and a few were tearful before they walked out to get on stage. I saw such a beautiful thing happen last night. As these kids got on stage to sing and play, they had a different countenance. I did not see the normal pride, instead I saw a humble countenance of grateful worship on each of their faces. The coolest thing though, is that I saw kids in the crowd who are usually laughing and cutting up, get on their knees before within minutes of the beginning of the set. Kids were meeting with Jesus in a way that I have not seen since we came on staff there 6 years ago. The only difference I can name is that Jesus was near to the broken! I am so grateful that He is a God of healing. He does not throw away broken things, He mends them and makes them better than before. A great band became the conduit of the power of God as they lay aside their self sufficiency!