School Zone= War Zone February 20, 2008

Fading in and out of a tired trance I wait till the bell rings. She then comes running out to the end of the side walk where she waits patiently for me to pull my car to the curb and open the door. She leaps into the seat, throwing her back pack into the floor board of the car before launching into a brief vent session of her day. “He was mean”, “she pushed me”, “they laughed at me” it’s always the same, it’s the negative ones that she remembers, the hurtful and disappointing ones that stick in her psyche. It’s so easy to minimize what she complains about as trivial. It’s easy to give her the “world will hate you talk” or the “love your enemies” talk , instead of just listening, empathizing and giving her time to heal from the war wounds that were inflicted on her during her seven hour tour of duty. Why is it so hard to remember what it was like to be a child? Why is it so hard to really comprehend how much more difficult it is now, than it was when I was her age. It is truly a different world than it was when I was 8. my biggest concern at school, was what did mom put in my lunch box. Hers is what will “those” boys say to me today to hurt me? (we all know “those” boys..the bullies.)
I want to be that soft place to land for her. That is hard if I am so detached from what it was like for me. I want to be understanding, patient and nurturing to her. That is very hard if I am constantly thinking that her pain is trivial. So, my prayer is that I will be a mother who is compassionate, loving and kind to her very emotional daughter, though i tend to be the stoic type! I just want to be Jesus with skin on for her.

If you are a parent, do you relate? If you don’t have kids, what do you remember about coming home after school?

Out of the mouths of Babes… January 25, 2008

I often wonder how much my daughter understands or retains about Jesus and His love for her. I pray all the time that she will grow roots that go down deep so that she will not be easily shaken when she grows up. Last night after dinner, Jon wanted to read a scripture as a family. He grabbed my bible that was sitting next to him and looked up Psalms 51. Before he began to read he just said to listen for what jumps out at you as I read. I of course being the control freak that I am was busy making sure she was behaving her self as Daddy was reading to her. She kept picking up rocks out of the decorative basket on the table and I kept taking them from her and putting them back up. I thought she was just distracting her self from what was being read…as I would have done at her age!

After Jon finished reading, he asked the question: “what stood out to you ?” My lovely and brilliant daughter says…

“I was trying to pick out these two rocks to show you what stood out to me… THis rock is what our heart looks like before we ask Jesus into it…dark and muddy looking..full of junk and sin.

But when Jesus comes in to live in our heart it is clean and shiny like this…white like snow like this:

Here I am accusing my child of playing instead of listening, in my own fear that she will not “get it” and all the while she was preparing her sermon for us that she went on to preach for the next ten minutes about the love of Christ that heals and covers us. She also ran to her room to get her devotion from that morning that she wanted to share with us.

I tell you what, it is a humbling thing when a child begins to talk about the deep mysteries of the spirit that we adults try to make so complicated. It really is true that we must become as little children when we come to the Father. We in our pride come with all of our philosophies and theories to impress him and it really just makes us look desperately foolish! I was sorely reminded of this last night! Thank God, He is watering the seeds being planted in my little child!

Independent women, throw your hands up at me! November 1, 2007

OK, I know, cheezy, destiny’s child song throw back there for a title!  I just thought it fit. My daughter is 8. She never went through the phase that most kids do around 3-4 where they want to dress themselves. She just never cared. She still doesn’t really care what she wears, but she has decided that she wants to “style” her own hair. Let me tell you, I am about to gnaw my own tongue off trying not to “fix it”!  I mean she is going to school, where people are surely wondering what kind of mother let’s their daughter go to school looking like that! 

I guess it is part of growing up though. I will have to suck it up and wait until she masters that whole thing. My pride is ridiculous though!!  Anyhow, i just wanted to put this out there! I am worrying about what people are thinking about my parenting skills because my daughter is finally showing some initiative and independence! So there is my co-dependent confession for the day! : )

Do you have Co-D moments??

Mediations of sorts… October 26, 2007

My daughter (8) came in one week to let me know that I should by dawn dish detergent because it cuts grease better. I laughed thinking how funny it is that she is telling me about dish detergent. Then later that week she came in again and quoted another commercial.  I laughed again but decided for one thing she did not need to watch as much television.

I blogged recently about the AACC conference that I attended in Nashville, TN. One of the speakers talked about how advertisers were targeting late teens and college age kids about ten years ago but the age is much younger now. They are advertising to our grammar school children. I mean really, that makes the incident with my daughter make a bit more sense. I mean no 8 year old needs to know about dish detergent. WHy would they advertise it during Nick Jr? Insane! Did you know that there is a Barbie Doll who comes with her own Visa or mastercard now? The credit card company is already getting the idea of plastic in our kids minds! I for one do not believe that debt is just the way of life. My husband and I have fought very hard to get out of debt.

I am venting a little here because it is just another way that the world is trying to saturate the minds of our kids!

Any thoughts??