Ok so my last blog raised some really great discussion and St Lewis brought an interesting spin to it I thought I would open another discussion for it. What about chick flicks? First of all, what is your definition of chick flick and second of all is it like porn for women?? Does it promote skewed expectations for relational happiness??
I will say this, for me, a chick flick is a movie that is silly and over the top in the area of cheesy romance… because I think it’s funny. I don’t like movies with sex or nudity in it. I like the little teeny bopper movies like a walk to remember. I like the movie how to lose a guy in 10 days. As far as relational expectations, nope… I do not begin to get disillusioned in my own relationship. Although< I know some people who do. For me, I am too stinking rational for my own good sometimes.
ok so, Come one people, throw your comment out, we don’t all have to agree, let’s talk though!!
A few embarrassing scientific facts that will make sense of this comparison right off the bat: the same pleasurable chemicals a man’s body releases into his system following sex are released in a normal woman’s body following deep, long…conversations. No, that wasn’t a joke – dead serious. In fact, they’ve shown that for most women it doesn’t even take a conversation – it merely takes hearing themselves talk for an extended period of time! That’s just to say, we’re generally wired QUITE differently, and what works to ‘excite’ us is vastly different, and as a result, the idea of ‘lust’ for each sex may be vastly different.
Chick Flicks: why do they appeal to women in particular? Why does a movie which will make the average male CRINGE have women FLOCK to it in groves? Clearly there is an appeal being made to something that is particularly feminine, and seeks to meet a feminine need or desire? On occasionally there are the moves that manage to market to BOTH crowds: TITANIC. Let’s look at what made Titanic work: 1.) fairly average looking girl lands attention from a guy who – even in my book – is far prettier than she is, who (for some reason entirely not understood by most males watching the film) 2.) worships her as God (clearly the degree of attention he gives her is far beyond what most males are able to give ANYTHING), 3.) then tragically dies (actually, the death is essential for the next part) allowing for none of the complexities of real life relationships to ever set in, leaving her carrying the idea of a dream male – a ‘fantasy man’ (who, apart from having male anatomy, is actually a girl wearing guy clothing) who doesn’t exist – not only in the sense that the movie isn’t real, but also in the sense that she never really KNEW him: they met ON A CRUISE… they never experience REAL LIFE together… she never really knows the real guy! He exists entirely in her imagination. Of course, most guys watch the film to see the boat sink, which is wicked cool.
Chick Flicks celebrate and glorify the man in women’s imaginations – they mirror imagine an almost lesbian portrait, reflecting themselves in male form, creating hopes for the sort of person, and the type of relationship that don’t exist, and can’t exist between opposite sexes. The relational expectations that women who live on a diet of chick flicks are so incredibly high as to almost guarantee not only disappointment, and divorce, but even indoctrination that the grounds of such a divorce is entirely well-founded: he’s not “the one”…they’ve been told from day one that “the one” is out there, and if they only found “the one” they would be happy and life would go smoothly for them.
The authors of the book “MARRIABLE” state in an article specifically against ‘girl porn’, “Plain and simple, the more you live in reality, understanding and accepting the good and bad of the opposite sex, the less desperate and more Marriable you become.” Not only marriable, but GODLY, as I wonder if the fantasy-land that many women enter through regularly enjoying chick-flicks is all that different (given the scientific fact I quoted to start this response) from the fantasy-land promised to men through pornography. Both make promises the opposite sex can’t – and shouldn’t – keep, and lay the groundwork for unhappy marriages and family.
Since marriage is the living picture of the relationship between Christ & the Church, we should do what we can with our thought lives to make it possible that ours reflect that holy relationship, rather than the images we are given by Hollywood.
Again, I’m not a legalist about this: some women’s consciences may genuinely allow for them to view an occasional ‘chick flick’ – discerning women, in particular. That being said, I’m far more concerned with the spiritual life of someone I discover watches non-stop Chick Flicks than I am if I discover one is a fan of the ‘Horror’ genre. See Heather’s last ‘discussion’ for the details on that.
Hope that gets things rolling for you, Mrs. B!
hahaha. Very good points Saint! I did know about the chemicals etc… Pretty much hilarious was the statement that we women get all hot for our own voices. Although, I think I know some men who seem to get off on their own voices too!! haha.
on that note, while I do agree that men and women are TOTALLY wired differently I would also make the point that different personalities are wired differently. Jon and I are very differently wired…as a matter of fact, I hate to talk and talk….Jon loves it. Jon also enjoys most chick flicks (but he also loves the macho stuff too) I tend to be less emotional and more factual, Jon is the opposite.
So, anyway, i agree with your point about the skewed thinking of someone who “feeds” only on chick flicks but I am just as concerned with someone who “feeds” on the horror genre, the sex genre or even the action genre, as they all feed a different need or desire the person who watches.
Ok, I am now going to turn off my computer for at least a week…as I am going on vacation where I will have no internet!
So keep commenting friends and I hope to come home to a ton of great convo!!
Anyhow,
WOW! Not touching this…
Charity! hahaha Come on, now I KNOW you have opinions!