Just for laughs! May 2, 2008
Someone else showed me this a while ago… I needed a laugh today so I looked it up and decided to share! You gotta go check this out… put in a name and reason… come back to comment
My child is cool May 2, 2008
Yes, I have a cool child. She has no idea that she is so cool either. Today on the way to school, she and her dad talked about standing up for what you believe in regardless of other’s response to you. She asks tons of questions all the time about God, Jesus and faith among others. Its cool to watch her as she wraps her brain around the ins and outs of Christianity. She is only eight but she is very smart. Anyway, when she got off the bus this afternoon, she was so excited to tell about what God had done for her that morning. Here is the story.
In her creative writing class, they were given a “free write” day. That means she can write an essay about whatever she chooses. My daughter says she had no ideas about what to write, so she prayed and asked God what He wanted her to write about. She says that immediately she knew that He wanted her to write about the work He did on the cross. In her words, “I told Jesus that I was really scared to write about that because the class may laugh at me, but I knew that Jesus would be with me.” So, she wrote all about Jesus’ love for the world and that he died for us even in our sin…THEN she had to read her essay to the class. She was amazed that noone laughed at her. More importantly, she says that she knows that God was with her and she got to know him little bit more.
So, I just wanted to brag on my baby!
Maturity April 18, 2008
Often times as Christians, I feel that we focus on “saving souls” and not on Christian maturity. Jesus told us to go and make disciples of all men. A disciple was one who was chosen by a rabbi to follow them around and learn as much as they could from that rabbi about his yoke, or his interpretation of the scriptures. Rob Bell talks about this in his book Velvet Elvis… He says that a disciple was one who followed his rabbi so closely that the dust from the rabbi’s feet would cover the face and body of the disciple. That’s really close… I mean, I have issues with people being in my personal space and the feeling of someone walking right on my heals bugs the snot out of me but what if being a true disciple means being that close to the Lord? What if those people that God has placed in my life to be discipled to the best of my ability, means that my life has to be one that is worthy of being so closely inspected? What if every word that comes from my mouth is truly speaking life or death? That’s what the word says…the power of life and death is in the tongue. It also says that we will be judged for every idle word that we speak. That is a powerful statement to me. I am very opinionated and tend to be vocal at times about my opinions so this thought came to me this week… what if I speak my opinion about a situation and it is opposed to what God intends for that same situation? UGh… I am running circles in my head. I know that I am rambling a lot, this is a totally spontaneous blog…just wanted to get some of these thoughts out on “paper”… so this is my brain, jumbled and thinking. 
SO back to what I was thinking. What if every action of mine, is catalyst in someones life for either help or harm? Obviously I am not God, I am not perfect, but I am called to be holy, for He is HOLY. I believe it was Paul who said***, it would be better to tie a millstone around my neck and jump in the ocean than to make a little one stumble. and by little one, that means a young, immature Christian. Oh, wow, how many times should I have just jumped into the ocean?? 
What are your thoughts out there in blog land?? Is any of this making sense to you?? what have you learned in your life about this??
CORRECTION-
*** It was not Paul it was Jesus who made this statement!
Nothing….My filthy rags. April 9, 2008
There is nothing inside of me that is good. Nothing. All of my best efforts come to nothing. That is where I am at this moment. Now before you think that I am all depressed and down on myself, I will tell you straight up, I am not being a victim. I am however becoming aware of my weakness. I am becoming aware that even my strengths become liabilities when they cause me to trust them instead of God.
It all started a couple of weeks ago when I began to feel that familiar numbness coming back to my spiritual life. Like my spiritual senses were becoming dull. All desire for the things of God was gone. I mean I could not even pretend to want to read my bible…or spend any significant time in prayer. I did not even want to listen to worship music at all. (if you know me, that’s a big deal.) So, I added some old school R&B to my ipod and embraced my spiritual apathy, whole heartedly. Another thing you have to understand about me, I don’t do anything halfway! I am fully in or I am fully out. I had depleted all of my own natural resources. I had nothing left to give anyone.
Last night, the small group (12th grade girls) that I lead came over to the house to discuss the book we are doing. … (experiencing God). I laugh even now at the irony. I am supposed to lead these girls to experience this God, who felt so distant even to me. We had not met together during the last two weeks…(the weeks of my apathy) but were getting caught up last night.
Here is what God did. Our conversations were about recognizing when God is speaking, or doing something, how to not feel so dead spiritually and how to want God. Crazy! Here are these beautiful girls, asking me how to do the very things that I have been avoiding. God spoke through me to them, and in turn reminded me that It’s true, I can’t do anything without Him. I can’t even want Him unless He first plants that desire in me. Even when I am feeling so deadened and disconnected from Him, He is at work, wooing me. I can’t do it. Do you get that?? It’s such a foreign concept in our world, there is no formula, there is NOTHING I can DO to make me want the things of God.
To go a little deeper here, It was my fault that I became disconnected in the first place. See, I tend to get cocky when I am doing “good” spiritually. I tend to coast through life relying on my own wisdom and my own abilities. I know beyond a shadow of doubt that my Father in heaven allowed me to wander far enough away from Him that I felt my need for Him. It reminds me of a time when my own daughter was three years old. She had a problem with wandering off in the grocery store, the mall or wherever we happened to be. Well, one day my husband and I decided she needed to learn that it was not a good idea. So we were in a store and when she wandered off to look at a toy display, we hid from her view. We could see her, but she could not see us. It took a few minutes for it to dawn on her that she was alone. I could see the emotions flickering across her face. When it finally registered that she had walked too far this time,her chin began to quiver and her eyes began to tear up. We came out from our hiding places, which were within two feet from her, and she was both angry and relieved. It may sound like a horrid thing to do, but she never wandered off again after that. I believe that God does the same with me. When I venture off of the path He is on, He just stops and waits for me to realize that I am doing it alone again. He never leaves me, but He just sort of hides Himself. Well, I am obviously a much more stubborn child than my own daughter, I don’t learn so easily. I wander off to look at my own version of toys, which I will plainly call idols. I whore myself out to all sorts of other lovers, self, people pleasing, recognition, pride, television…the list is long.
The good news though, even though I had nothing to give to that small group last night, God showed up. He helped us all to see that even the fact that I was discontent with my lack of desire for God, was the hand of God moving my heart. He showed me this verse this morning:
Among the gods there is none like you, O Lord;
no deeds can compare with yours.
All the nations you have made
will come and worship before you, O Lord;
they will bring glory to your name.
For you are great and do marvelous deeds;
you alone are God.
Teach me your way, O LORD,
and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name.
I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart;
I will glorify your name forever.
For great is your love toward me;
you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.
Among all the gods, there is none like you… among all the idols that I erect in my life, there is none who can compare to Him! None of my “toys” will be able to come close to filling my emptiness. I want an undivided heart, to love Him. I want all the other lovers to fade away in the presence of God Almighty.
Great is HIS LOVE TOWARD ME. not my love toward Him. Even if I were a junkie, in an alley somewhere, His love for me would be the same. It is His faithfulness that will see me through to the end. It’s His loving kindness that will woo me to Him. Thank God, it is not reliant on my desires or lack thereof!
Spring Break March 21, 2008
Yes, tomorrow marks the beginning of Spring break for the tot. My little one has had the flu, so we have been decontaminating the house all week…and by “we”.. I mean me!! (haha) She is now well, but she has missed an entire week of school and because it’s the week before spring break it means she is having TWO weeks off! I am looking forward to the next week though. She is well and ready to have fun. Hubby still has to work Friday Night and sunday but then we are clearing our schedules in order to have family time. I know this for sure, we have been so busy since about December, that many things around the house have fallen to the wayside. Things we plan to accomplish this week:
1 paint the livingroom and dining room.
2 clean out the garage
3 some yard work
4 spend time as a family so that we can re-connect with each other in meaningful ways!
So what’s your plans for spring break?
My soul longs for you and nothing else will do. March 13, 2008
A satisfied soul loathes the honeycomb, But to a hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet.
Proverbs 27:7 NKJV
I was on the phone today with a sales rep, trying to order tickets to a conference I am going to next month. My bible was sitting in my lap, so while I was on hold, I began flipping through it in an absent-minded fashion. The above verse lept out at me.
Do you know someone who just craves attention? This person just needs to have praise, pats on the back and compliments or they just get depressed. What about someone who can’t do anything with out the approval of someone else? Do you know someone in an abusive relationship and you cannot figure out why they stay?
Several posts ago, I wrote about my struggle with busyness. That there were so many good things that were coming my way, that I was having a hard time saying no. Here is the kicker… I had become so focused on taking the right next step that I had lost sight of my guide, Jesus. My soul was not satisfied in Him. I was hungry for Him and trying to fill it with the bitter things of the world namely, busyness.
It is the same with that individual who needs to have approval and attention. Their soul is starving for the security and approval from their creator but instead of finding that in Him, they are seeking it from other humans. The sad truth is this, if you are looking for approval and attention from a human, you will be on a roller coaster of approval addiction. Humans are fickle. Their approval is dependent on your performance. God’s approval is constant and complete. When you are in Him, you already have his approval. Your worth is so deeply secure in Him, that nothing that you could ever do, or not do, could ever change that.
Is your soul hungry or is it satisfied in Him? He is returning for a bride that only has eyes for Him. Seek to find Him and He will satisfy your deepest needs.
Is your soul satisfied in the Lord?
I once was blind…but now I see. March 7, 2008
As Jesus was leaving town, trailed by his disciples and a parade of people, a blind beggar by the name of Bartimaeus, son of Timaeus, was sitting alongside the road. When he heard that Jesus the Nazarene was passing by, he began to cry out, “Son of David, Jesus! Mercy, have mercy on me!” Many tried to hush him up, but he yelled all the louder, “Son of David! Mercy, have mercy on me!”
Jesus stopped in his tracks. “Call him over.”
They called him. “It’s your lucky day! Get up! He’s calling you to come!” Throwing off his coat, he was on his feet at once and came to Jesus.
Jesus said, “What can I do for you?”
The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.”
“On your way,” said Jesus. “Your faith has saved and healed you.”
In that very instant he recovered his sight and followed Jesus down the road. Mark 10:45-53 (the message)
Reading this story today in my quiet time, it seemed to leap out to me a bit. So I thought I would stop and “chew” on it. I tend to do that best by writing my thoughts so this is where we are!
I remember in High school having a crush on a guy. I mean I had it bad. All I could think about was how I could be in the same vicinity as he was. I would maneuver my schedule so that I would just “happen” to be where he was. There were times when it seemed that my heart would burst at the thought that he may show interest in me. If I heard anyone talking about him, I just had to hear what was being said. I wanted to know all about him. But that was all I had, knowing “about him”. I didn’t really know him personally on any deep level.
I imagine that Bartimaeus had heard all about Jesus. He sat beside the road day in and day out probably hearing stories about the great teacher who was performing miracles. Maybe he longed for the day he would get to meet him. Then his chance came. He hears that Jesus is coming out of the city… so in his desperation he just starts shouting…” Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me!” His shouting began to annoy people around him, they start telling him to shut up but the more they told him to be quiet, the louder he became. Why? I believe it was because he had dreamed about being able to see for so long that his dignity, (what little he had) was the least of his concerns. He was desperate to meet Jesus. That desperation, is what stopped Jesus in His tracks. The KJV says that Jesus stood still. Do you get that? Our desperation, causes Jesus to stand still. He stops what He is doing to hear our feeble plea.
Jesus called the beggar to himself. When the blind man heard this it says he flung off his coat, sprang up and ran to Jesus. Why would he throw off his coat? My first thought is that he was removing his outer garment revealing what was beneath it… symbolically this is what we must do when we are in the presence of Jesus. We must allow him to see beneath our facades. Get real with Him… He knows what’s there better that we do.
My second thought is maybe it represents his lifestyle. He is casting it off to grab a hold of a new way of life maybe??
See, we can know all about Jesus. We can hear stories about how he does great miracles for others all day long. It is when we get desperate enough in our own life that we forgo our pride and our head knowledge in lieu of a real encounter with him. We must be willing to cast off our masks and our old life too. We have to let go of the old before embracing the new.
Anyway, when Jesus called Bartimaeus to himself He asked the man “what can I do for you?“ The beggar’s response is “ ‘great teacher’, I want to see.” Jesus’ response was “ your faith has saved and healed you”.
Now remember where was the beggar in the beginning of the story? He was beside the road, right? Well, after Jesus heals him, he follows Jesus down the road. He is now a follower of Jesus, not merely a guy who knows about him…he is now a follower.
We are like this blind beggar sitting beside the road as long as we are living with only knowledge about Jesus. It is not until we get desperately tired of our own plight that we will be heard by Him. He is quick to hear a humble and desperate cry. I pray daily that I will stay in a state of desperate hunger for more of Him. Oh, Lord, don’t let me get so self-reliant that I miss you.
What about you? Are you beside the road, or are you following the Lord? If you are beside the road, what holds you there? What will it take for you to get desperate enough to call out, regardless of what others think of you?
“Oh, Beee-have!” February 28, 2008
Ok, so I am really not an Austin Powers fan, but the title just sort of fit! 
Counselor’s have a term called behavior modification. Simply put it is a system of reward and punishment designed to stop “bad” behavior. It is a human attempt to tame the outward expression of human depravity. In essence it is a way to make our sinful nature appear civil. I know there are some positive and wonderful ways that this method is helpful when dealing with things within human control but that’s not where I am going.
I have been thinking about how the church seems to have adopted this human method for making sinful people look holy. It seems that we have become a people who seek to modify our behavior in order to feign a holiness that we are called to BE! We get very concerned about looking like Godly people so much so, that we have lost the essence of the Gospel. Jesus did not die a painful and humiliating death in order to guilt us into behaving. No, He died in order to free us from our sinful natures. He came so that we would become New Creations. When we come into a relationship with Him, the very nature we posses becomes different. We take on the nature of Christ. That does not mean that all of a sudden we are perfect images of Jesus, it just means that now we are capable of being like Him. Like owning a laptop that is windows vista capable. You still have to install the correct program, but you already have in place the necessary equipment.
The way to becoming holy is not about cessation of bad behavior as much as it is seeking the face of God. As we gaze on His perfect beauty, we will be transformed. As we are falling in love with this Creator who is in love with us, we will change behaviors that do not please Him. It won’t be about earning His love, it will be about showing our love to Him. It becomes a gift from us to Him as much as the ability to change is a gift from Him. So let’s stop being behavioral modifiers, let’s just become lovers of Christ. Let’s become like Him! We don’t have to fake it. Oh, praise Him for understanding our frailty and loving us regardless!
tired. February 27, 2008
I am really fighting this month against an adversary who has many faces. Beautiful and alluring faces. What temptation or vice am I struggling with, you ask? Busyness. Over commitment. I don’t know, it just seems that all of a sudden, I am being allured by all of these great opportunities to do wonderful things. Things that I would be great at, things that would be good for me, things that could be very good ministry opportunities…yet, it just seems they would pull me in too many directions to be really useful at any of them. I read somewhere recently that with all of our technological advances that were supposed to decrease our work load, we have somehow added another days worth of work. Did you catch that? We somehow have an eight day work week now. We are SO busy. We are getting up early and due to electricity, we are able to stay up into the wee hours to finish work that our ancestors would have waited until the next day to complete. I am getting WAY off point there…just a little soapbox rant! J
I have been thinking about my life’s mission statement a lot this week. I have been wondering, if God is changing my mission statement to include something more, or if I am just trying to fill my life with something other than what He has called me to do. This led me to think about reasons we do “too much”.
There are times when life just demands more of us. Jobs for instance can take a lot of our time and attention. We may have bosses who require more from us for a while. It’s called work for a reason. I get that. I don’t have a regular job though. I am a stay at home mom. I do the normal housekeeping stuff, bills, homework etc. I also work in ministry with my husband, who is a full time youth minister. We are busy. Very Very busy! The demands of a job in ministry can be overwhelming because the lines are easily blurred between work, home and family. Boundaries have become a life saver for my family. But boundaries can also make you the bad guys at times!
For me, it all comes down to what I find my worth in. If my worth comes from what I do, then by all means I should do as much as I can as well as I can…right? HOWEVER, my worth comes not from what I do, but whose I am. I am the daughter of the King of Kings. I have worth because He created me in His image, put HIS breath in my frame…and if that’s not enough, He also loved me and valued me enough to DIE to cover my frailty. He knew that I was at my very best, nothing more than dust without Him. So I have value because the price on my head was the death of the son of God.
There are so many good things out there for me to do but just because the need is there, does not mean that I am the one called to that task. So, once again I need to simplify my schedule. It’s time to decide where I am supposed to be and stop trying to do it all! This is such an easy thing to say, but not so easy to do. I am praying for wisdom, clarity and direction. I have to remind myself that if I am not connected to my source, I will burn out. I am like a lamp, if I am unplugged, I have no light of my own to share. I must be plugged in to the source of my light. It is Christ in me.
I know i rambled a lot tonight, I am tired, I am overwhelmed and just wanted to put some of my thoughts down while I was able. If you think about me this week, please pray for me. Wisdom, clarity and strength to get through the rest of this week! Thanks!
School Zone= War Zone February 20, 2008
Fading in and out of a tired trance I wait till the bell rings. She then comes running out to the end of the side walk where she waits patiently for me to pull my car to the curb and open the door. She leaps into the seat, throwing her back pack into the floor board of the car before launching into a brief vent session of her day. “He was mean”, “she pushed me”, “they laughed at me” it’s always the same, it’s the negative ones that she remembers, the hurtful and disappointing ones that stick in her psyche. It’s so easy to minimize what she complains about as trivial. It’s easy to give her the “world will hate you talk” or the “love your enemies” talk , instead of just listening, empathizing and giving her time to heal from the war wounds that were inflicted on her during her seven hour tour of duty. Why is it so hard to remember what it was like to be a child? Why is it so hard to really comprehend how much more difficult it is now, than it was when I was her age. It is truly a different world than it was when I was 8. my biggest concern at school, was what did mom put in my lunch box. Hers is what will “those” boys say to me today to hurt me? (we all know “those” boys..the bullies.)
I want to be that soft place to land for her. That is hard if I am so detached from what it was like for me. I want to be understanding, patient and nurturing to her. That is very hard if I am constantly thinking that her pain is trivial. So, my prayer is that I will be a mother who is compassionate, loving and kind to her very emotional daughter, though i tend to be the stoic type! I just want to be Jesus with skin on for her.
If you are a parent, do you relate? If you don’t have kids, what do you remember about coming home after school?
Dark Night of the soul February 19, 2008
I wrote this over a year ago during a particularly dry period. I have spoken to several people lately that are feeling this way, so I thought I would post it here to help put to words those longings and ponderings of the heart!
Here I am again, at a stand still.
I always end up here.
Feeling like I am in the dark again.
It feels so cold, and numb here, but it is an uncomfortable numbness.
I hate it here.
It seems the darkness will last forever.
I cannot even remember the days of being in the light.
I cannot remember ever being warmed by His touch.
Then, slowly, I begin to remember the warmer days.
I begin to miss the days of dancing in the sun where He is so tangible, so present.
I miss those days of light.
Nevertheless, I am in the dark for now.
I have no sense of where He is or where I went wrong.
Is He testing me or did I cause this separation?
All these questions are pervasive, going round and round in my head like a merry-go-round.
Doubts chasing questions…. then followed by a calm.
A calm that knows that just as sunrise always follows night, Light will come.
It has to and then I will see what He wants me to know about the depths of my soul.
I will see that He was there all along, quietly, patiently waiting for my eyes to acclimate to the dark so that I could continue walking, not by feelings but by faith.
For me to realize that the times in the valleys of darkness are necessary to get to the next mountain.
It is life; it is about abiding in Him, keeping my eyes on Him even in the storms, even in the dark.
Trusting that even when I cannot feel Him, see Him or hear Him, He is there.
He is there
Bloggy February 19, 2008
Ok guys! I have a new friend to introduce to the blog world. He is such a great guy. His name is Justin Davidson and he is the other youth minister that works with my husband. He loves Jesus with a passion unlike many I have seen! He is hard core, passionate and oh so assertive!
Check him out, tell him I sent you and leave him some comments!!
Thanks!
Click HERE to go to his page!!
Lazarus, come forth February 7, 2008
John 11:30-44 (the message)
Jesus had not yet entered the town but was still at the place where Martha had met him. When her sympathizing Jewish friends saw Mary run off, they followed her, thinking she was on her way to the tomb to weep there. Mary came to where Jesus was waiting and fell at his feet, saying, “Master, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
Jesus saw her sobbing and the Jews with her sobbing, a deep anger welled up within him. He said, “Where did you put him?”
“Master, come and see,” they said. Now Jesus wept.
The Jews said, “Look how deeply he loved him.”
Others among them said, “Well, if he loved him so much, why didn’t he do something to keep him from dying? After all, he opened the eyes of a blind man.”
Then Jesus, the anger again welling up within him, arrived at the tomb. It was a simple cave in the hillside with a slab of stone laid against it. Jesus said, “Remove the stone.”
The sister of the dead man, Martha, said, “Master, by this time there’s a stench. He’s been dead four days!”
Jesus looked her in the eye. “Didn’t I tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?”
Then, to the others, “Go ahead, take away the stone.”
They removed the stone. Jesus raised his eyes to heaven and prayed, “Father, I’m grateful that you have listened to me. I know you always do listen, but on account of this crowd standing here I’ve spoken so that they might believe that you sent me.”
Then he shouted, “Lazarus, come out!” And he came out, a cadaver, wrapped from head to toe, and with a kerchief over his face.
Jesus told them, “Unwrap him and let him loose.
Have you ever looked a situation that seemed hopeless? Maybe it is a dream that you thought God had planted in your heart. Maybe a child, sibling, parent or friend who is lost in addiction or they are not walking with Christ. From all appearances, it seems that it is a dead situation. Maybe everyone around, including you have given up hope that it will ever happen. Maybe the person lost in addiction is so far gone that it really is hopeless, so all involved have put the hope into a cave on a hillside and thrown the slab of stone up over the opening. Maybe you are mourning the loss of hope or perhaps you have long sense forgotten about it all together.
What stood out to me in this story is several things: the pain of the sisters, the response of the people and the response of Jesus.
Earlier in the story, Mary and Martha had sent a message to Jesus, informing him of Lazarus’ illness, with the request that Jesus come quickly to heal Him. See, they knew that Jesus had the power to heal him, no question. They knew the person of Jesus in a real way. They had relationship with Him. In verse 5-6 it says that Jesus loved Mary, Lazarus and Martha, yet he stayed in the place He was for two more days. He did not rush out immediately when the need was made known. Actually, he went on with business as usual until He had completed the task He was doing.
When Jesus finally arrives in town, He is first greeted by Martha, shortly followed by Mary. Both women accuse Him in their grief saying, “if you had been here, our brother would not have died!”
Jesus’ response was an angry groan!
Mary, Martha and all the people there at the wake had given up hope on the dead brother. They were mourning the loss. Jesus walks onto the scene and commands them to remove the stone. Martha says the only reasonable thing. Uh, God, Lazarus has been dead for four days…he’s not smelling so good!”
Groaning again, Jesus says, “I told you that you would see the Glory of God, why do you mourn?”
Jesus, prays outloud so that everyone could hear then commands: Lazarus, Come forth!“ Jesus raises the guy from the dead!!
When Lazarus comes out he is still wrapped in grave clothes…bound hands and feet and face still covered with the burial cloth. He would have had to hop, or hobble out because he was so bound up in the trappings of death.
This is huge to me. There are people that I have been praying for, that appear to be lost causes. They seem to be gone too far with no chance of being restored. This story gives me hope. Jesus can bring to life the things that by all appearance seem to be dead.
For that person wrapped in the grave clothes of addiction, they will need someone to help them to unwrap the chords that bind them. They will need help removing the residue of addiction…the habits, the hurts and the hang-ups. But Jesus, can bring them back to life.
That dream that is planted deep within you may appear hopeless. It may seem like it can never happen, but I tell you this, if It is the will of the Father, He will bring it to life again. Remember he continued on with what He was doing for two more days before going to Mary, Martha and Lazarus’ aid. What you may be perceiving as a “no“, may only be a “not yet“ from the Father.
Don’t give up. Don’t bury the hope of seeing that dream come to fruition. Don’t put the stone over the grave of that person running from God into addiction. Look to the Father. Wait for the glory of God to be revealed in the graveyard of your hopes.
randomness February 7, 2008
Tam tagged me for this one!! I am supposed to write seven random things about me and then tag someone!
1. I Love presents! Getting them, giving them, shopping for them and wrapping them too! Just love them.
2. I must rock my self to sleep, using my foot every night… the whole bed will be rocking…drives Jon crazy!
3. when i was little, I told my dad, I wanted to be a missionary until I asked how much money they make…then I decided I would be a Mary Kay consultant. lol I was about seven years old.
4. When I was 3, a lady bug flew into my eye…for years I thought it had left foot prints on my eye because when I looked into light, then looked away I saw little spots!
5. I believed in Santa until i was 13.
6. I hate to have a dirty car…drives me crazy! the dust on the dash….ahhh, can’t stand it.
7. I am totally boring apparently..since I cannot think of another random thing!
Tagging:
quirks thing February 4, 2008
I was tagged by mandy so here goes…
gotta name SIX count ‘em SIX quirky things about myself.
gonna make this fast:
1)I can’t eat cereal when I first wake up…to loud for me!
2)My childhood imaginary friends were named cowboy Dan and Todd
3) I am a good cook, but HATE to cook!
4) I was a pharmaceutical technician after high school… loved it.
5) I’ve always wanted to work with inner city youth, particularly gang members
6) I am so totally grossed out by feet… I can barely stand to even get a pedicure…the thought of other’s feet before me!
Like a child February 1, 2008
My daughter (8yrs old) came into the living room this week to ask me if we could cuddle. I said sure and put my laptop down to make room in my lap. As we sat there talking about her day at school she began to ask questions about God. Her main question seemed to be how did one get to know God better. I began to tell her the normal stuff, you know, read His word, pray to Him and listen to Him when He speaks back to you. She looked at me intently and said, well, i do pray and I do my devotionals…..but I have not heard Him speak back, HOW does that happen? I felt the Holy Spirit leading me as I picked up my bible next to me and began to read out of I Samuel 3:1-21. I love the story, so I am posting it:
The boy Samuel ministered before the LORD under Eli. In those days the word of the LORD was rare; there were not many visions. One night Eli, whose eyes were becoming so weak that he could barely see, was lying down in his usual place. The lamp of God had not yet gone out, and Samuel was lying down in the temple of the LORD, where the ark of God was. Then the LORD called Samuel. Samuel answered, “Here I am.” And he ran to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.”
But Eli said, “I did not call; go back and lie down.” So he went and lay down. Again the LORD called, “Samuel!” And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.” “My son,” Eli said, “I did not call; go back and lie down.” The LORD called Samuel a third time, and Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.” Then Eli realized that the LORD was calling the boy. So Eli told Samuel, “Go and lie down, and if he calls you, say, ‘Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening.’ ” So Samuel went and lay down in his place. The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!” Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.” Now Samuel did not yet know the LORD : The word of the LORD had not yet been revealed to him.
And the LORD said to Samuel: “See, I am about to do something in Israel that will make the ears of everyone who hears of it tingle. At that time I will carry out against Eli everything I spoke against his family—from beginning to end. For I told him that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons made themselves contemptible, and he failed to restrain them. Therefore, I swore to the house of Eli, ‘The guilt of Eli’s house will never be atoned for by sacrifice or offering.’ “
Samuel lay down until morning and then opened the doors of the house of the LORD. He was afraid to tell Eli the vision, Samuel answered, “Here I am.” “What was it he said to you?” Eli asked. “Do not hide it from me. May God deal with you, be it ever so severely, if you hide from me anything he told you.” So Samuel told him everything, hiding nothing from him. Then Eli said, “He is the LORD; let him do what is good in his eyes.” And all Israel from Dan to Beersheba recognized that Samuel was attested as a prophet of the LORD. The LORD continued to appear at Shiloh, and there he revealed himself to Samuel through his word. The LORD was with Samuel as he grew up, and he let none of his words fall to the ground.
I went on to explain to my daughter about how God can still speak to His people, if we will listen. It may not be an audible voice, but he speaks in many ways. I love that it says above in verse 3 that the lamp of the Lord had not yet gone out. The lamp of the Lord was supposed to burn all night. So that means that God spoke to Samuel in the night. It has been my experience that God does speak to me more often at night. My only reasoning, is that is the time when I am most still. Since I was about 13 or 14, God has given me prophetic dreams often revealing things to pray about for others or situations that need to be covered in prayer. I would always wake up right after the dream, with an intense concern for the situation. If you know me, you know that it would have to be God to get me out of bed in the middle of the night!
Anyway, I digress, the point is this, I have been really wondering If God was real to my daughter. I know it’s not my job to make God real, but I don’t want to make Him appear small to her either. I was beyond excited when this conversation ended because she got really excited too. She asked me to please pray for her to begin to hear the voice of God. That she would be open to dreams and visions from Him. Praise God!! I was able to lay hands on her and pray that her spiritual eyes and ears would be opened to God. I am just overwhelmed by God’s grace that He would woo my little girl into a relationship with Him. I don’t know what he has in store for her, but I pray that like Samuel, as she grows up, God will not let her words fall to the ground either!
How does God speak to you? Are you being still enough to listen to Him? There is nothing in the world more transforming to one’s soul than to hear the voice of God. Nothing more intimate than to have the secret’s of God’s heart revealed to you. He longs for this type of relationship with His people. He is not a stoic God who is detached from His children. He longs to be intimate. He longs to share what is on His heart with you! Seek Him and you WILL find Him!
Good ‘nuf! January 31, 2008
John 1:10-16 (emphasis added mine)
He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him. But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.
And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth. John bore witness of Him and cried out, saying, “This was He of whom I said, ‘He who comes after me is preferred before me, for He was before me.’” And of His fullness we have all received, and grace for grace For the law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.
When you think about God, what comes to mind? Maybe you think he loves people, but he is often disappointed in you. Maybe he is like a morality cop, waiting for you to screw up. Maybe you think that God is a delusion that people created as a crutch. For me, I used to get this picture of an old man in white, with a long flowing beard, sitting on a huge marble throne. He was surrounded by clouds, so much so that I could never get a clear picture in my mind of His face. In this picture, I was often, bowing (cowering) at His feet in a nervous way. Oh, I was in awe of Him too, but still had this nagging suspicion that I was not in His favors. I never felt that I could measure up to the standard that I felt He had set for me. I was always “messing up”
There are many things that can shape our perspective of the Father God. Maybe we had an abusive father, maybe he worked all the time or was altogether absent. Maybe you had a great dad, but other men in your life were poor examples of what God is like. Maybe you were in a church that was legalistic. It took me a long time to sift and separate the many perceptions I had of God. Some were true but many were distorted. One of the sources of my distorted perceptions was the fact that I was raised in a very legalistic church. I came to believe that God was that policeman in the sky, watching for me to mess up so he could strike me down. Maybe not by a literal bolt of lightning, but in some sort of punishment He would surely get me back. If I was not living up to par, then He would not bless me, he would not use me and would give me the silent treatment so to speak.
I have often struggled with the fear that I would never measure up to what a “good Christian” should look like. I am just too blunt, too sad, too happy, too angry, to relaxed, too poor, too rich, I don’t read the bible enough, I don’t understand the bible enough, I don‘t pray enough…. etc…. See I was placing all these rules and expectations on myself in order to avoid punishment from God. I was in essence trying to take the place of Jesus in my own life. I was determined (not knowingly) to be my own savior. There is a scripture that Paul says basically, that if you are trying to earn your salvation by works, you are telling Jesus that His work is not enough. That is so hard to swallow if you tend to be a performance based, people pleaser, like I have been. That is one of those verses that we glance over quickly moving on to something like, “work out your salvation with fear and trembling” only to interpret that through the lens of earning our keep!
I have now come to believe that God does not view me through the same “glasses” that I view my self. He sees me through the blood of Jesus. The one pure spotless lamb. vs. 16 in the NKJV says it this way:
And of HIS fullness we have all received and grace for grace. That word fullness translates as full measure, copiousness (present in large quantity), that which has been completed. It describes a ship with full cargo and crew. Guys, we are complete in Christ. Not because we are good enough, (because God knew we could never be “good enough”) but because Christ took our place. He is there interceding on our behalf to God the Father.
He is our portion, our fullness and our covering. His grace is enough. Enough to cover every imperfection. All we have to do is accept it, freely. That is harder at times than working for it. Especially to prideful people such as myself. I am always fighting to remain humble, not self sufficient. He never called me to be self sufficient. He called me to be God-dependent. I am not saying that we never have to do anything…I am saying that nothing we DO can make us any better in the eyes of God.
So, don’t get wrapped up in being “Good enough” Just abide in Him. Commune with Him. You are fully loved, totally forgiven, whole and complete in Christ. You have value, HUGE value because Christ the pure spotless one, loved you enough to die a painful, shameful death so that we could be free! Free from shame, guilt and Fear! Praise God!
New blogger! January 31, 2008
Hi all, I just want to introduce one of my friends…Bo. He has recently come home from the 1040 window. He is a great guy…check him out.
Out of the mouths of Babes… January 25, 2008
I often wonder how much my daughter understands or retains about Jesus and His love for her. I pray all the time that she will grow roots that go down deep so that she will not be easily shaken when she grows up. Last night after dinner, Jon wanted to read a scripture as a family. He grabbed my bible that was sitting next to him and looked up Psalms 51. Before he began to read he just said to listen for what jumps out at you as I read. I of course being the control freak that I am was busy making sure she was behaving her self as Daddy was reading to her. She kept picking up rocks out of the decorative basket on the table and I kept taking them from her and putting them back up. I thought she was just distracting her self from what was being read…as I would have done at her age!
After Jon finished reading, he asked the question: “what stood out to you ?” My lovely and brilliant daughter says…
“I was trying to pick out these two rocks to show you what stood out to me… THis rock is what our heart looks like before we ask Jesus into it…dark and muddy looking..full of junk and sin.
But when Jesus comes in to live in our heart it is clean and shiny like this…white like snow like this:
Here I am accusing my child of playing instead of listening, in my own fear that she will not “get it” and all the while she was preparing her sermon for us that she went on to preach for the next ten minutes about the love of Christ that heals and covers us. She also ran to her room to get her devotion from that morning that she wanted to share with us.
I tell you what, it is a humbling thing when a child begins to talk about the deep mysteries of the spirit that we adults try to make so complicated. It really is true that we must become as little children when we come to the Father. We in our pride come with all of our philosophies and theories to impress him and it really just makes us look desperately foolish! I was sorely reminded of this last night! Thank God, He is watering the seeds being planted in my little child!
light January 21, 2008
He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.”
John 3:19-21
When I was very young, my family went to see the movie E.T. It terrified me. I had nightmares for months. I mean vivid nightmares about E.T. being under my bed, in my closet, in my toy box and many other places. Because I was so afraid, my parents left my door cracked so that a small wedge of light could be seen from my bed. I developed a belief that as long as I was touching that small ray of light, no monsters could get to me. If I had to go to the restroom, I would get a running start on my bed and leap as far as I could to land in the light. If by chance I awoke after my parents had turned out the lights, I would not move…I would scream as loud as I could…“MOMMMM!!!…..DAAADD!!!” Over and over until they were frantically running to make sure I was not being mauled by a wild animal or some such emergency!
This morning in my devotional time, I read the verse above from the book of John. While it is not a total parallel, the whole time I read it, all I could think of is the feeling of safety I felt while in the light. The scriptures call Jesus the light. I know that when I screw up royally, as we all can, there are times that all I want to do is run from the light. That pure light of holiness can be painfully exposing.
While there is a certain vulnerability for being in the light of a Holy God, there is also a great comfort for those who are walking in the light. Just like Proverbs says, a man who walks in integrity walks securely; a man or woman who lives life in honesty before God and others has nothing to hide.
For me walking in the light means walking with integrity before Jesus. It means keeping my self in communion with the spirit of God and allowing Him to search my heart. This is a practice that I try to do daily, sometimes several times a day. Being still before Him and allowing Him to expose the darkness that lurks in this desperately deceitful heart of mine. This keeps me walking securely.
How many times do we as believers avoid the light of His truth and instead seek to hide in the shadows of shame, guilt and deception? How many times do we trade the loving intimacy with the Father for isolation from our only source of peace? How many times do we allow the fear of being known keep us from coming to the light? How many times do we fail to call out to our “DADDD!” for fear of not being answered or rescued?
Don’t let your voice be silenced! CRY OUT TO Him! Don’t hide in the shadows! Come out and allow Him to love you. Allow Him to strip away the chains of shame and guilt. Allow Him to remove the blinders of denial from your eyes! Come out and be embraced by THE light. There is safety in the light. The monsters from your closet of secrets cannot consume you when you step into the light.
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